Just like life, relationships are also often tricky to navigate your way through. Considering how every relationship is different from another, I have always felt that when it comes to dating and being in love, it is never ‘one size fits all.’
While most of us draw inferences and inspirations from either our parents’ marriage over the years (credit: easy access) or from Bollywood movies that seldom ever give realistic advice, it is quite possible that we may have had our perceptions about relationships altered, based on what we have been fed.
And so that you don’t find yourself latching on to the words of an OTT romantic/problematic character from a Bollywood film and running your relationship down to the dumps, here are a few myths about dating that we’d like to debunk for you.
1) Don’t Talk About Your Ex
A lot of times new couples are told how talking about your ex to your current partner is nothing but a recipe for disaster. My two cents? That advice is what will stir a storm in your relationship and not in your ex’s.
The thing is, to an extent, it is important and healthy to talk about your ex and come clean about what and how things went down. It offers insight and closure to your partner about your life and choices and it is best to get it out of the way sooner or later. Not to forget, it is only human to talk about your ex (someone who played a significant role in your life, even though for a little bit) and if you can achieve a level of comfort with your partner to do that, there is nothing like it.
2) Happy Couples Don’t Fight
Take it from me or your parents or from literally ANYONE in a relationship, but couples always fight. They might not fight all the time, but arguments are as important a part of a relationship as is making love.
Fights are what make your relationship stronger because it is not possible for the two of you to see eye to eye on everything, and the fact that you are willing to put your ideas forth, even if conflicting, only proves how withstanding your bond is.
3) Opposites Attract
One of the most falsely advertised claims when it comes to love, guys let me break it to you – opposites don’t have to attract. We are people with real emotions and not magnets that can be told apart based on our magnetic fields. And for that very reason the whole – ‘good girl likes bad boys’ theory needs to be put to rest.
Anyone can fall for anyone and in my experience, it always bodes well to have some common ground between two partners to build upon.
4) Being In Love Means Knowing What Your Partner Wants
I would go ahead and accept this particular notion only to a certain extent, wherein being in a loving and committed relationship would mean you know your partner well enough. But to think that your partner needs to know exactly what is going on in your mind all the time, is being a little presumptuous and unrealistic.
In fact, what we instead need to normalise is communication. It is okay to tell your beau what you do and do not like without having to take it personally or assuming that it would take away from your relationship. It’s okay to educate your partner every now and then, it helps in the long run.
5) People Don’t Change
I can tell you from personal experience that they do. But you know, the thing about ‘change’ is that you can never be the one to direct it in your partner. As long as you’re the one trying to change your beau, chances are, they won’t.
Change requires will and constant effort and only when a person is convinced to do that, without feeling pressured, would that change be certain to come along, and most of all – stay.