Yes, There Is a Line of Sex Toys Inspired by Jeff Bezos’s Shuttle Launch, Because Why Not?

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Photograph courtesy Blue Origin.

Amazon and Blue Origin founder Jeff Bezos went into space yesterday through the New Shepard rocket. It’s the most recent voyage in what’s shaping as much as be a billionaire area race: Virgin Galactic’s Richard Branson went to area July 11 within the VSS Unity, and whereas SpaceX’s Elon Musk has not but left Earth within the literal sense, his firm has huge plans to ship a shuttle to Mars.

Some bystanders celebrated the milestone Bezos’s journey marked in non-public area journey. Others criticized him for spending his billions on going to area, as a substitute of for the better good.

And others? Well, these of us with the minds of pre-pubescent boys couldn’t assist however discover that the Blue Origin rocket kinda regarded like a ginormous area ween.

It appears the grownup toy trade seen, too, as a result of we’ve got presumably the perfect information to ever hit Washingtonian’s house web page: There is a forthcoming line of intercourse toys impressed by the non-public area race referred to as the Billionaire Flesh Rocket Series. Yes, that’s proper, it’s the 12 months 2021 and now you can purchase a dildo impressed by the Blue Origin dong shuttle, in accordance with an emailed press launch from the grownup leisure firm CamSoda.

The intercourse toy names sort of sound like a group of 12-year-old boys in a treehouse picked them out: Customers can select between the Blue Orgasm, impressed by—you guessed it—Blue Origin, the Space Sex (yep, SpaceX), and the Galacdick, which is what occurs if you shove the phrase “dick” onto the phrase “Galactic.”

The Blue Orgasm seems to only be…a blue dildo, whereas the Space Sex appears to be like like one of these plastic torpedos you shoot underwater on the pool. And the Galacdick is simply unsettling.

The toys shall be obtainable for buy shortly, in accordance with the press launch, as a result of, as with constructing area rockets, good design takes time.

The press launch additionally included a assertion from CamSoda vice chairman Daryn Parker, which maybe takes the cake from the time period Galacdick: “With our line of Billionaire Flesh Rockets, individuals who can’t afford a ticket aboard the VSS Unity, Blue Origin or Elon’s SpaceX rocket can get off in a completely different method and penetrate the o-zone. Go boldly into the place nobody’s gone earlier than, discover Uranus and perhaps even have a shut encounter of the pantless sort.”

TBD on whether or not the Blue Orgasm shall be obtainable for buy on Amazon.

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Associate Editor

Mimi Montgomery joined Washingtonian in 2018. Her work has appeared in Outside Magazine, Washington City Paper, DCist, and PoPVille. Originally from North Carolina, she now lives in Petworth.

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